{LOVE} lessons learned

Today is the day that most singletons the world over absolutely dread. 

And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm not one of them.

No, no. I haven't gone and found myself a man {yet} but for some reason, this Valentine's day is different from the past 26. 

I've never been a huge fan of the holiday. I woudn't say I was a V-Day 'hater' but there was some definite, 'let's just get through this day' mentality going on. Sappiness makes me sick. {That hasn't changed.  I'm not a big fan of sappy}. To attest to this, I was telling Leah and Mom at lunch yesterday how Dollar Tree had real live red roses on sale for $1 each and I was just amazed. That led to a discussion on roses and how I absolutely do. not. like. them.  I just don't.  Yeah, they smell nice, but I'd much rather receive some daisies or...I don't know, something other than roses. Leah looked at me like I was crazy. Like I had just said I hate babies and little puppies and other things that  most people love. I think she went so far as to even say that I'm not really a girl. I assured her, I was. 

Moving on.

So...what have we established.  I'm not a fan of sappy.  The scrawling cursive script on V-day cards with the fake flowers and all the hearts just makes me want to throw up (design wise, they're just...not...pretty.) Please tell me I'm not alone on this. 

So, after all these years of dreading the holiday, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and thought, It's Valentine's. {and a Monday, talk about kicking someone while they're down!} and then thought...I'm so lucky to be here on this planet living my little life.  

Game.  Changer.

I don't exactly know what it is that brought about the change.  It could be that spiritually, I'm in a totally different place than I was all those years past. I now realize that God loves me, whether I'm single, married, fat, skinny, loud, quiet, if I read my Bible today, if I didn't read my Bible today.  Regardless...

He. 

Loves.

Me.

And realizing that truth. That God loves you even when you feel nobody else does. That...man. It's something. It changed my life. 

I'm kind of getting off subject, but I remember sitting in Bible Study last spring. We were studying Beth Moore's Believing God {AWESOME...seriously, you should do it.} and on one of the videos...the week we were discussing the 3rd statement in the pledge of faith {I am who God says I am} I totally. lost. it. in the discussion after the video. Beth said something to the affect of, God doesn't just love you.  He likes you. And I can't exactly say why, but it's like the flip switched in my head and I realized who God really was. Does that make sense? 

He loved me.

He loves me. 

He will love me. 

No holds barred. For. Ev. Er. {imagine that said, 'The Sandlot' style}

So...maybe that's the first reason. And the second reason is kind of tied up in that. I'm not currently reading Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts {I know, I know, I feel like I'm the only person in the world that isn't} but I do read her blog and I've begun to realize that we are blessed beyond what we could ever need every day just by being alive and having the chance to show God's love and grace to others. Every day is a gift.

Follow me for a second. 

Last Friday night I went to visit Mawmaw at the nursing home. I usually go see her on Monday nights but last Monday I was still getting over the gallbladder surgery so, you didn't need to know that, but that's why I was there on a Friday night.  {Looking back at that sentence, I was at a nursing home on a Friday night.  That sounds so lame.} So I walked in at dinner time for most of the residents and there sat Mawmaw at the little table with these two other ladies.  I don't remember one of their names, but the other one was Ms. Mary Ruth.  I had never met either woman before, but I hadn't been sitting there 5 minutes when Mary Ruth said something to the affect of, 'You have the prettiest teeth.'

I looked at her and thought...what in THE world is this woman saying? I had been told I had a nice smile before, but never, pretty teeth. 

Then, 5 minutes later, the other woman, who was very {VERY} hard of hearing looks at Ms. Mary Ruth and says, 'Doesn't she {me} have the prettiest teeth?' and I thought, 'WHAT is up with these women and teeth?!?! I,personally, don't like my teeth, I have one in the front that is so super crooked and overlaps the other one and that's always annoyed me. So...to hear these two women say that I had pretty teeth (some of the prettiest actually) just floored me. And made me laugh hysterically. And awkwardly. Because...what do you say to that apart from thank you? We sat there for 15 more minutes or so and I just had a GRAND OLE TIME with them. And then Mawmaw and I went back to her room and watched the 6 o'clock news and Wheel of Fortune and the beginnings of that show where celebrities see who their ancestors are {it was Tim McGraw last week}.

So...all of that to tell you that as I was sitting there with those little old ladies I thought...they need to be shown love. I mean, my Mawmaw knows I love her, but those other little ladies? They don't have visitors as much. And you would have thought I had given them a million dollars when I actually asked them their names and talked with them, not to them. My eyes were opened.  Mawmaw talked about how she had some lotions but it's no-scent and what good is lotion unless one of the benefits is smelling good? So, I decided I was going to get those ladies some lotion. and a card. and a balloon (because, Dollar Tree had mylar V-Day balloons for a dollar too!). 

I CAN. NOT. WAIT to see their faces tonight when I go visit them. They may hate the lotion. They may not like balloons. But I know they'll love the love. 

We humans were wired for it.  We were wired for love. To love and be love in returned. 

I'm quite sure that this post is all over the place and some people would say, 'You really need to learn how to edit.' but, I just had to share all this with you.  Because...I just had to. 

{DISCLAIMER}

All this does not mean that I don't ever struggle or long to have a significant other. Just ask some of my closest friends and they can tell you about the texts they get begging them to pray for me because that day is a rough day. I've also learned it's super hard {for me} when you're crushing on someone and they don't seem to be crushing back. {As I currently am.  Will I regret saying that? Perhaps, but...I'm all for honesty}. 

But Jesus, y'all, He can do the impossible.  Including teach someone as screwed up and silly as me to learn to love like He has. Even if it's a little bit at a time.