Update and half of my heart...

First off, thanks for all of your sweet words about yesterday's post. I really am blessed with some of the most encouraging and awesome friends and family on the planet. And if you're thinking, Rebekah, there are two comments on that post...I'll just let you know that I received many comments on the link I posted on Facebook.  Not that it matters. 

And just to clarify, after I re-read that post (numerous times) I really sound like I'm tooting my own horn. But, I hope you understand that was not the spirit behind it. This blog is much more stream-of-consciousness writing than anything and that's what came out.  Although, there are some times where I edit my thoughts a little bit to make them funnier.  Ha. What worries me is that I try to make them funnier, and they still aren't that funny.  Oh wells.

So, some people asked for an update on how yesterday evening went and can I just say, those women were absolutely tickled pink when I walked in their rooms. I gave Mawmaw, her roommate, and Ms. Mary Ruth all a little pottery planter thingy, some lotion, a balloon and a cute little card from Lifeway. I just searched online for like...5 minutes for the card I got Mawmaw because it was absolutely so flippin' adorable, but I couldn't find it.  But the gist of it, on the front it said something to the affect of my grandparents are the BESTEST and on the inside something about me being the BLESSEDEST (I was REALLY hoping when I opened it yesterday in the store that it said the grandchildren were the BESTEST too because...that would be funny, because I'm one of...like 8 grandchildren, so...anyway).

Ms. Mary Ruth gave me a hug. She had already changed in to her nightgown. At 5:40. So...that was kinda strange, hugging this little old lady in her nightgown, but it was sweet nonetheless.  She won Valentine's Queen for their little hall.  The same honor that she had said last Friday she was going to nominate Mawmaw for, but said Mawmaw wouldn't have it.  Mawmaw replied back with 'Oh yes I would!'. That was so funny.  Ms. Mary Ruth totally deserves it though. And it's nice that she the recognition.

The sad news is, I don't think she remembered who I was. :( I'd tell you why I think that, but, it's just sad, so...let's move on.

As I was walking out of Ms. Mary Ruth and her roommate's room they asked me if I was going out to dinner all dressed up like I was, which, I had on exactly what I wore to work, a black dress with pink and white flowers all over it over some tights and some black flats, and I had to tell them no. That I was going to go home and read and go to sleep. Ha. But they were just so complimentary (I really am going to go there any time I need a self-esteem boost!) ;)

As I was leaving MawMaw and Ms. Maxine's room, they complimented how nice I looked as well. I told them what their friends across the hall had said and Ms. Maxine says, 'Ohhhhhhhh, honey, I have a man for you!'

This is where I should have run out.  Her grandson, who I met the first time I visited Mawmaw, is available and apparently my age. She went on for 2 or 3 minutes telling me all about his great qualities.

So...evidently I should go to the nursing home for a self-esteem boost and to get set up on dates.

{GRIN}

:D

Last night as I got home, John Mayer's song, 'Half of My Heart' was stuck. in. my. head.  I like the song.  It's nice to listen to. Mellow. I had never really listened to the words before I don't guess. Well, I woke up this morning with the song stuck in my head and I swear I have 'listened' to the YouTube video about 20 times today. No. Joke.

I love John Mayer.  But I've noticed a pattern (thanks to Annie Downs' book!) that when I listen to him, I feel melancholy and boyfriend-needy and it's probably not a good thing. SO...maybe I shouldn't listen to him as much because...that who wants to feel melancholy and boyfriend-needy? :S Not me. But...for your listening pleasure and since I've listened to it a million times. Here's the "Half of My Heart" video.  It's sad. Sad song.

Is it just me or does he look really good in this video? 

Sigh. 

Later y'all.

{LOVE} lessons learned

Today is the day that most singletons the world over absolutely dread. 

And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm not one of them.

No, no. I haven't gone and found myself a man {yet} but for some reason, this Valentine's day is different from the past 26. 

I've never been a huge fan of the holiday. I woudn't say I was a V-Day 'hater' but there was some definite, 'let's just get through this day' mentality going on. Sappiness makes me sick. {That hasn't changed.  I'm not a big fan of sappy}. To attest to this, I was telling Leah and Mom at lunch yesterday how Dollar Tree had real live red roses on sale for $1 each and I was just amazed. That led to a discussion on roses and how I absolutely do. not. like. them.  I just don't.  Yeah, they smell nice, but I'd much rather receive some daisies or...I don't know, something other than roses. Leah looked at me like I was crazy. Like I had just said I hate babies and little puppies and other things that  most people love. I think she went so far as to even say that I'm not really a girl. I assured her, I was. 

Moving on.

So...what have we established.  I'm not a fan of sappy.  The scrawling cursive script on V-day cards with the fake flowers and all the hearts just makes me want to throw up (design wise, they're just...not...pretty.) Please tell me I'm not alone on this. 

So, after all these years of dreading the holiday, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and thought, It's Valentine's. {and a Monday, talk about kicking someone while they're down!} and then thought...I'm so lucky to be here on this planet living my little life.  

Game.  Changer.

I don't exactly know what it is that brought about the change.  It could be that spiritually, I'm in a totally different place than I was all those years past. I now realize that God loves me, whether I'm single, married, fat, skinny, loud, quiet, if I read my Bible today, if I didn't read my Bible today.  Regardless...

He. 

Loves.

Me.

And realizing that truth. That God loves you even when you feel nobody else does. That...man. It's something. It changed my life. 

I'm kind of getting off subject, but I remember sitting in Bible Study last spring. We were studying Beth Moore's Believing God {AWESOME...seriously, you should do it.} and on one of the videos...the week we were discussing the 3rd statement in the pledge of faith {I am who God says I am} I totally. lost. it. in the discussion after the video. Beth said something to the affect of, God doesn't just love you.  He likes you. And I can't exactly say why, but it's like the flip switched in my head and I realized who God really was. Does that make sense? 

He loved me.

He loves me. 

He will love me. 

No holds barred. For. Ev. Er. {imagine that said, 'The Sandlot' style}

So...maybe that's the first reason. And the second reason is kind of tied up in that. I'm not currently reading Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts {I know, I know, I feel like I'm the only person in the world that isn't} but I do read her blog and I've begun to realize that we are blessed beyond what we could ever need every day just by being alive and having the chance to show God's love and grace to others. Every day is a gift.

Follow me for a second. 

Last Friday night I went to visit Mawmaw at the nursing home. I usually go see her on Monday nights but last Monday I was still getting over the gallbladder surgery so, you didn't need to know that, but that's why I was there on a Friday night.  {Looking back at that sentence, I was at a nursing home on a Friday night.  That sounds so lame.} So I walked in at dinner time for most of the residents and there sat Mawmaw at the little table with these two other ladies.  I don't remember one of their names, but the other one was Ms. Mary Ruth.  I had never met either woman before, but I hadn't been sitting there 5 minutes when Mary Ruth said something to the affect of, 'You have the prettiest teeth.'

I looked at her and thought...what in THE world is this woman saying? I had been told I had a nice smile before, but never, pretty teeth. 

Then, 5 minutes later, the other woman, who was very {VERY} hard of hearing looks at Ms. Mary Ruth and says, 'Doesn't she {me} have the prettiest teeth?' and I thought, 'WHAT is up with these women and teeth?!?! I,personally, don't like my teeth, I have one in the front that is so super crooked and overlaps the other one and that's always annoyed me. So...to hear these two women say that I had pretty teeth (some of the prettiest actually) just floored me. And made me laugh hysterically. And awkwardly. Because...what do you say to that apart from thank you? We sat there for 15 more minutes or so and I just had a GRAND OLE TIME with them. And then Mawmaw and I went back to her room and watched the 6 o'clock news and Wheel of Fortune and the beginnings of that show where celebrities see who their ancestors are {it was Tim McGraw last week}.

So...all of that to tell you that as I was sitting there with those little old ladies I thought...they need to be shown love. I mean, my Mawmaw knows I love her, but those other little ladies? They don't have visitors as much. And you would have thought I had given them a million dollars when I actually asked them their names and talked with them, not to them. My eyes were opened.  Mawmaw talked about how she had some lotions but it's no-scent and what good is lotion unless one of the benefits is smelling good? So, I decided I was going to get those ladies some lotion. and a card. and a balloon (because, Dollar Tree had mylar V-Day balloons for a dollar too!). 

I CAN. NOT. WAIT to see their faces tonight when I go visit them. They may hate the lotion. They may not like balloons. But I know they'll love the love. 

We humans were wired for it.  We were wired for love. To love and be love in returned. 

I'm quite sure that this post is all over the place and some people would say, 'You really need to learn how to edit.' but, I just had to share all this with you.  Because...I just had to. 

{DISCLAIMER}

All this does not mean that I don't ever struggle or long to have a significant other. Just ask some of my closest friends and they can tell you about the texts they get begging them to pray for me because that day is a rough day. I've also learned it's super hard {for me} when you're crushing on someone and they don't seem to be crushing back. {As I currently am.  Will I regret saying that? Perhaps, but...I'm all for honesty}. 

But Jesus, y'all, He can do the impossible.  Including teach someone as screwed up and silly as me to learn to love like He has. Even if it's a little bit at a time.

the one where i'm in love.

Y'all.

I'm in love.

That little girl is the sweetest thing.

After squalling during the first night of VBS' opening ceremonies, she sat there and behaved like she should tonight. She made a wall-hanger. I think that's quite obvious from the picture above. It's ultra-fabulous.

Her and Aunt Sarah worked on some memory verses today and she said 5 tonight! On the 5-minute car ride home she taught me Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth." As we were leaving she told Bro. Tracy, "I had a good time tonight! See ya tomorrow!" He laughed.


And I fell even more in love with her than I already am.

Do you have nieces that you absolutely adore? Tell me about them in the comments.

Everyone have a happy hump day!

how sweet it is to be loved by you

I just love my mom. She's one of the hippest and coolest cats I know, and after having just been on the phone with her for 49 minutes talking about this and that, and this and that some more, I felt like I had to write about her.

I wouldn't consider her an ordinary mom. She's sacrificed more than I know or will ever know for us, all without ever complaining one single bit. I've never heard her say, 'I've done this for you, now why can't you give me something in return'. Or if I have, I've forgotten about it, and we've already established that I have an awesome memory, so I don't see that as an option. Although I've given her a hard time (see my 'Stitch in Time' post), she really has done and is doing a wonderful job of raising her 'children' (if you can call a 31, 29, 25 and 21 year old that).

For a long time I couldn't remember if her birthday was August 5th or 7th. I don't know why, it just never seemed to stick. I think this is payback for her always asking what year I was born. That never seemed to stick with her. She also doesn't seem to remember some big events from my childhood - when I stepped on a nail and gashed my foot open or when she forgot to pick me up from school one afternoon - those sorts of things. I've ragged her about it for 15 some odd years and realized today...why? Why when all she's ever shown me is love do I give her a hard time?

I can count on...maybe two fingers the times my mother has been really angry or upset with me (and at least one of those was deserved - can we say 'You can't ride with us to the Singing Christmas Tree (except in a way cruel-er) way?). Two times...in almost 26 years. Isn't that amazing? Now, maybe she's been upset with me more than those times but I don't think she ever let it show.

I say all this now because I realize some people aren't blessed with moms that are as loving or caring. They don't have moms that drove to and from Dallas in 36 hours to find an apartment with you, or called you every day (multiple times a day) when you were in a new place all by yourself, or sent you a Halloween card just to send you something, or gave you a Christmas tree as flowers on your birthday so that you could have a tree in your apartment, or look for houses for you when you can't even buy a house, or get you a subscription to the Itawamba County Times because they know it makes you happy, or simply pray for you when they know their little girl needs it. I can't explain the number of times she's been there for me in little ways and big and whether she realizes how other people compliment the job she did raising us children.

I'm not very eloquent and really don't have a way with words, even though I'd like to, but I just had to give credit where credit is due. My mother is the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman. One of the best moms I know.

Favorite picture of us - Thanksgiving or Christmas 2006

On our way to apt. search in Dallas - we made her cry because she took her shoes off and they smelled so bad - August 2007

Making sure the window in my bathroom opens...it didn't. However, I eventually got it open like a year and half later.

Giving Leah rabbit ears. Ha, Leah wasn't happy - Christmas 2007

Modeling a vest (that we made her put on) in the thrift store - September 2008

One of our favorite pasttimes - playing Phase 10 - Thanksgiving 2008

I realize she's reading this and my guess is - crying - but I had to get it out. Sorry for making you cry Mama, but just think of me singing "Ask any of the chickies in my pen. They'll tell you I'm the biggest Mother...Hen." and smile :)

I love you!