everyone needs to just calm down.

And by everyone, I mean me.

I signed up last Thursday to take the Praxis II: Mathematics Content Knowledge test. Which was, coincidentally, the deadline to take the test on November 12th. Monday, this Facebook status conveyed how I was feeling about it.

 

I don't know why, but I didn't read in my devotional book that day. I think I was a day behind, so, I actually read Sunday's on Monday. I was sitting in my planning period Tuesday looking at Monday's devo and it's exactly what I NEEDED to read.

"Anxiety is a result of envisioning the future without Me. So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me. When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively. Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialogue with Me. 

If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules: 1) Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there. 2) Remember he promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind. This mental discipline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies. However, the reality of My Presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine. "

Luke 12:22-26; Ephesians 3:20-21

- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

I  don't know. Maybe that's exactly what you needed to read today. Maybe it was just my job to share.

Are you envisioning your future without Him? I know He is with me on any given day. But somehow I forget that He's with me every. day. I peek into the future and start to hyperventilate because I don't see Him there. Probably because I have bad eyesight.

There's a version of Psalm 139:5 that says, "You hem me in, behind and before."

He's there. Even if we can't see him.

Walking with us from where we've been, to where we are, to where we're going.

So breathe deep, friend. And calm down.

i just keep thinking...

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, 

the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." 

- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

It's true friends. This world is not our home. 

I bought Switchfoot's newest album this week and the last track. Sigh. I'm in love. It's a reminder.

I couldn't resist sharing all the lyrics. They're just so good. Indulge me.

Feeling like a refugee
Like it don't belong to me
The colors flash across the sky

This air feels strange to me
Feeling like a tragedy
I take a deep breath and close my eyes
One last time
One last time

Storms on the wasteland
Dark clouds on the plains again
We were born into the fight

But I'm not sentimental
This skin and bones is a rental
And no one makes it out alive

Until I die I'll sing these songs
On the shores of Babylon
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Where the weak are finally strong
Where the righteous right the wrongs
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Feels like we're just waiting, waiting
While our hearts are just breaking, breaking
Feels like we've been fighting against the tide

I wanna see the earth start shaking
I wanna see a generation
Finally waking up inside

Until I die I'll sing these songs
On the shores of Babylon
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Where the weak are finally strong
Where the righteous right the wrongs
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

This body's not my own
This world is not my own
But I still can hear the sound
Of my heart beating out
So let's go boys, play it loud

On the final day I die
I want to hold my head up high
I want to tell You that I tried
To live it like a song

And when I reach the other side
I want to look You in the eye
And know that I've arrived
In a world where I belong
In a world where I belong
In a world where I belong

Where I belong
Where I belong
Where I belong
Where I belong

I still believe we can live forever
You and I we begin forever now
Forever now
Forever
I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now
Together now
Forever now
Forever now
Forever now
Forever
Forever 

 Please please please, just listen to this song.  Really loud. 

And then live like this world isn't your home.

i don't even know...

I woke up this morning.

I had just had a really weird dream.

I won't go into too many details, but it left me wondering...WHAT was that about?

Like...really.

I don't really believe in the interpreting dreams thing, but, it was just so bizarre.

There were 4 other people in my dream, none of which I knew, and we had taken turns praying. I was the last to pray and these were the last words I remember right before I woke up. This isn't verbatim, but, something very similar...

"God, You are faithful. You are good. You have our best interests in mind when you make us wait. You will always do what's best for us. Always. Help us to remain faithful to You and believe in Your faithfulness even when it seems we can't."

 And then I woke up.

It wasn't about a job. Or anything related to a job. But something else entirely different.

And I typed out about 50 different status updates to try and...make sense of it? I don't really recommend the trying to make sense of the world through status updates, but...sometimes it helps.

It was one of those moments where there were about a BILLION different things running through my mind. But everything I typed out made absolutely no sense. I couldn't say anything and it fully convey what was going on in my brain.  I had no words and too many words at the same time.

And then I thought of a verse -
  

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. - Romans 8:26

 I wasn't magically not thinking about what the dream meant. 

But it did make me pause and remember that God has me. He will always have me. 

Always.

And that makes everything okay.

lessons learned {from being a substitute}

I can't remember if I've shared on here that I'm a substitute teacher.

Yes. A substitute teacher.

It. Is. Fabulous.

I have learned some valuable lessons. Some, you can't really put a price on.

{1} Not everyone is cut out to be a teacher - Let's be honest, we've all had bad teachers.  People that obviously don't care for their students. If you are a teacher, you should probably like kids. You should also probably have a reasonably large pool of patience. I think if you have patience and like kids, maybe you should be a teacher. Teaching is most definitely a calling. And one of the most noble I believe. I subbed kindergarten last week and they were sweet kids, but, when asked again if I would sub? I had to say, "Thanks, but no thanks." because...they killed me. Literally. I died last Thursday. Maybe only for an evening, but...death still the same. 

If you went to kindergarten, move heaven and earth to find your teacher and say thank you.

I'm not kidding.

{2} Not everyone is cut out to be a teacher for 30 years - I've met lots of teachers that I bet were most excellent teachers. 10 or 15 years ago.  And had that pool of patience and love for children and desire for them to succeed. But now, it's long gone. And they're hanging around even though they can't stand the kids.

That makes me so terribly sad.

[Author's note: Everything from here on out isn't so serious...or sad.]

{3} Kids talk about the most random things - Today at lunch some 4th graders were talking about cancer. Cancer! And how some haven't met their grandparents because of it. And if there was a heart cancer. They then talked about Heaven. And gates.

Not every 4th grader is that...serious?

I've had conversations about monster trucks with 3rd graders. And Charlotte's Web {we read the last two chapters one day and I ALMOST CRIED. For real.} I've talked about Barney, the purple dinosaur, with Jr. High-ers. And llamas with kindergartners. Llamas. They couldn't believe I've petted a llama. Minds were definitely blown.

{4} If they love you, they draw you things -

Example 1 - Yellow Highlighter Heart - 6th grader

When I scanned it, the yellow highlighter didn't show up. Fail.

On my part.

Not their's. :)

Example 2 - Calvary - 4th grader

I'm not sure if this kids thinks I need Jesus?

Or he loves me like Jesus?

Could be a number of things.

Was a nice reminder during the day though.

Example 3 - I Love You Inside a Heart - 4th grader

I love this. The block letters.

The heart inside the heart.

Nice thing on a Friday.

Except she thinks I'm married.

Obviously, hearts are really popular. And I'm wondering if you're a girl, if that's what you HAVE to draw?



{5} Students like to find out every piece of personal information about you - Every class has asked if I'm married, if I have kids, and how old I am. Some have asked where I live. Which...ummm...awkward.

The very first kid that asked how old I was then asked, "Isn't that rude to ask?" to which I replied, "Yes...it is."

BUT, their math problem of the day said something along the lines of Mrs. Smith is between 30 and 45 years old. The sum of the digits of her age is equal to 11. How old is Mrs. Smith?

So, what does Ms. Hebert do?

You wanna know my age?! You gotta figure it out! ;) Which, they did. But they learned math at the same time. That kinda made me happy.

{6} Math skills magically come back to you - I subbed 6th, 7th, and 8th grade math for a few days. It was amazing how I remembered how to add fractions, and flip the sign in >/

It's also amazing how you don't remember some things.

Like factor trees.

Ummm...anybody? :-/

{7] There's this thing called a Promethean board. - It. Is. Amazing.

I'm sure there are other things but that's what I can think of off the top of my head.

Y'all have a good weekend. While I go rest my feet. And my voice.

:)