At least not until I was married with kids of my own.
Surely this wasn't the way things were meant to be.
I didn't go to school for five years; earn two degrees; simply to be sitting in the home of an over-sized mouse at 11:30 on a Tuesday morning. Listening to some kinda catchy remakes of 80's hits. Watching moms nod their heads to the music that was the sound of their youth, trying to exhibit patience while counting out 45 tokens for each child.
There I sat.
It was a few weeks ago. We had been the second group to walk through the doors. My old self would have laughed at my new self.
The new self...
...is pretty decent at Mario Kart on the Wii.
...listens to cries of "Ms. Ebekah...".
...warms up chocolate milk and gives the youngest his blank blank (blanket) so he can nap, while trying to figure out what part of Spiderman he wants to fall asleep too (it usually has to be 'all the way over', i.e. from the beginning).
...runs around to pick kiddos up from swim lessons and haircuts and softball and wherever else their little lives might take them.
...figures out which battles I need to fight (the hitting of the siblings, the backtalk for the umpteenth time) and which to let slide (I discovered it's not the end of the world when they forget to add ma'am to the end of their yeses or nos every now and then).
I have a booster seat permanently in my back seat during the week.
This life is so foreign to me. Yet, I've come to realize.
It isn't always going to be like this.
This is just a season.
I won't be keeping kids forever. (At least, I don't think.)
I've been given this summer to shape their littles lives. To pour into them the love that Jesus has poured into me. And while I saw that as my primary goal, God had other plans in mind.
I get to speak to moms that I would never have ran into otherwise of how God ordained this. This summer of sitting. How I can go from a job in accounting that occupied 40 hours of my week to watching an 8 and 4 year old accumulate 509 Chuck E. Cheese tickets. How neighbors and friends have reached out and taken me in because they've received such grace, that they feel compelled to show it. How I've seen Him give me peace that passes understanding.
He always gives us opportunities to speak on His behalf. To tell others of what He's done in our lives. What He's doing.
And that peace,
the love that He pours into our hearts,
It can be theirs too.
Where is God giving you opportunities to speak up?
Are you seizing them?
"For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard."
- Acts 4:20